Strong mind, bad at calculations...

(Well, I’m bad at calculations under pressure, as I find it really hard to concentrate on numbers, especially under test conditions).

So, what I was willing not to happen has happened. I have always been well aware that maths is my weakest point. Since I’m aware of this, I have revised and revised and revised for my Numeracy Skills Test. I’ve read up on terminology, learnt fractions and decimals and percentages. I have tested myself and completed numerous practice questions. I do bits every day, around running and around work and I babble on to my boyfriend and to family and to almost anyone (absolutely anyone) who will listen about numbers and multiplications and blah blah blah. But, it wasn’t good enough.

As soon as I got there today, my face felt warm and I felt a little panicked. The woman reviewing my ID was also rather abrupt. I handed over my passport and then she asked for my secondary ID. Trying to make light of my nervousness, I told her that I had brought various forms of ID and letters etc. (I literally brought a file full of letters, qualifications and identification with me). ‘I need one of the ones off the list’, she said sternly and unhelpfully. I handed over my driving license. I then had to squish my bag in a locker. ‘Aren’t you going to take the key?’ she gestured towards, sarcastically. I hadn’t forgotten the key; I was simply hanging up my coat too. Unbeknownst to me, I also had to take my passport into the test room with me, to show another person. I didn’t know this, as I’d never taken a test there before. It wasn’t a big deal, but she was even sarcastic when I asked whether I needed to keep it on me. This doesn't help someone who is very nervous about taking a very important test.

Anyway, the fact is, I panic with numbers. However, I know through revising that I have come a long way. I am not awful at maths. I can work things out just fine. However, it is nerve-wracking when you only have 20 seconds to work something out and when so much depends on passing this test. I know I struggled with the mental arithmetic and the ‘wordier’ questions. I got lost in the context of the question and I started to run out of time. I failed by 3 marks. I will pick myself back up and re-book it. I definitely need to calm my nerves for next time. I only have two more attempts and then it’s time to reassess my career path.

It’s funny because, as a person I know my own mind and I am very strong-minded. It is mind over matter which gets me through all my races. I know I am determined and, in this way, my mind is successful. If I could just apply even half this conviction to a job that I could make a living out of, then I would be content.

To end on a positive note, I was pleased with my marathon time of 3:59:15 at Wrexham Marathon on Sunday. There weren't many ladies in the race, but I did come 10th lady and 3rd in my category, yey :) - getting a bit faster.The weather was pretty bad and the route itself was literally a tour of Wrexham Industrial Estate. Every cloud...

Smoothies!

Ahhh I feel so much better for making and drinking smoothies each day. I love apples, but I get bored munching through them, so now I simply blend them J All the taste, none of the biting!

With all these additional vitamins, I’m hoping I feel a bit more energetic for Wrexham Marathon on Sunday. I am so excited to be running a marathon again. I’ve not run once since October and that is a long hiatus for me. My last marathons were Amsterdam, followed by Beachy Head, a week later. Since then, I have moved back up North and things have changed a lot. I’m still not driving at the moment, so far-flung marathons are out of the question. I’m only working part-time and travel to these events doesn’t come cheap. Luckily, Wrexham Marathon is pretty much on my doorstep and just up the motorway a bit.

At least I’m working in a running shop, where the running shoes come a lot cheaper with a bit of staff discount. Not sure which shoes to run in though....

It'll hurt upto a certain point and then it won't get worse.

P.S. Just looked in my inbox to find an email from The Running Bug, titled 'How your first run is like losing your virginity...' Ermmm, is anyone else under the impression that a lot of running publications spout silly gobbledygook to entice/ confuse new readers/ runners and make running way more complicated than it needs to be? I think the worst thing you can do in running is overthink it. Admittedly, I think we all have the tendency to sometimes overthink things, but overthinking running takes away the carefree and exhilarating nature of it. One of the reasons it's so great is because it's so simple. If I'd read a gazillion silly articles like this when I first started running, I may never have entered my first marathon, which I entered without complicating the matter. I simply Google searched 'Marathon + Lake District', ran it, loved it and got hooked. Now I've run 150 assorted marathons/ ultras and lost and kept off over 4 stone, for 7 years. If I can do it, anyone can do it. Anyone can do it. If you want it. 

So, why do we make it so complicated? If you can aspire to it, if you can walk, if you believe you can do it, you will do it. Ok, ok, I know that magazines etc. have to come up with eye-catching titles. After all, that's how they get people to read their articles. It makes sense. It's just that sometimes when I really stop and think, it becomes apparent that we 'dress things up' quite a lot. Perhaps I'm being pedantic.  If I had to describe starting out running, I'd say that it hurts, to a certain point and then it won't get worse. It can only get better (as long as your don't injure yourself). You're unfit and out of practice and you have to reach that hurdle and jump over it. But, it'll be worth it.

New Year, new adventures.

So here we are in a new year. And I get to thinking about new adventures more than ever...despite the fact that I’m always looking for them anyway. Where will I travel this year? Where will I live and where will I work? I’m still working on these three questions and they all need answers. This is the year for stability. I need to find a place of my own to live and forge a proper career. However, I also really want to run new and more exciting things. This is quite hard without a stable income and car at the moment. I miss all of those obscure ‘out in the middle of nowhere’ marathons. I know I will get there, but I keep asking myself, ‘Are we there yet?’ Nope.

In the meantime I have occupied myself by still running home from work a lot. I never feel like doing it when I set off, but when I get into it, it always turns in to a great training run. As much as I miss having a car right now, I appreciate those moments. I appreciate the self-sufficiency of getting myself home using my own two legs and determination Yesterday I even picked up two pints of milk from the shop on my way back home. Adding a bit of weight to my rucksack varied the training and it was useful, because I needed that milk for my protein shakes ;-)

Running here, there and everywhere.

What do you do when you don't have a car? Well, if you're a runner, you guessed it! The pros of this are that it's a fantastic way to get in all sorts of varied training. Running to and from work with my inov8 rucksack adds a little extra weight to my run, so that mixes things up a bit. I also get in some ‘night running’, since I’ve been running back from work in the dark. Then there’s also running whilst tired, as I almost always feel after work. So, sleepy runs on little food double as good ultra training. 

Running from work also means that I don’t have to drag myself out of the door after work, as I’m killing two birds with one stone via running home. And it is pretty hard to drag yourself out of the door into the cold night air once you’ve settled down in the warmth of your living room. 

Finally, since I’m working a lot over Christmas, that’s a lot of festive training in the bag, which makes up for all that mince pie munching. This also puts a bit of a positive spin on working so much over Christmas, which isn’t the happiest prospect ever (Boo!). I guess the only major downsides to running to work are having hat hair (wearing a hat becomes necessary if the weather is bad, to avoid looking like I’ve been dragged through a hedge backwards...) and remembering to take my makeup with me ;-)

Here's to new beginnings

To quote Semisonic... ;-) 'Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end'

I can’t believe how fast this year has gone. Crazy. I have been working down in Eastbourne, in a big old ex-stately home, which is now a language school and tomorrow is my last day teaching. I feel happy to embrace new adventures up North, but there is also a little bit of sadness there. I will miss the building itself. It is so beautiful and extraordinary working here. You definitely don’t come across places like this very often, if ever. So, I feel really privileged to have had the chance to work here. And then there’s Eastbourne. I had never had the chance to visit Eastbourne before I worked here. It was just too far away from the North West. I’m glad I got the chance to stay here and experience the wonderful surrounding hills and scenery. The South Downs Way has been an amazing running route to have on my doorstep, and Beachy Head. I will make sure to go out for one last meander or maybe two, before I leave on Monday morning. Then it’s northwards I go and off to discover new adventures.

Shake it

I used to be one of those people that shrugged off protein shakes a little bit. I wasn’t the best milk lover in the world – I’m still not - and I didn’t like the taste or the smell. I reasoned that I could just go and eat some tuna or chicken and get some extra protein that way. Obviously, eating some extra protein is a really great idea, but it’s just a little inconvenient. I’m not likely to carry a chicken breast or leg around in my bag now, am I? (that thought/ mental image made me giggle a bit).

I’ve bought whey protein in the past and I’ve ended up trying it once or twice and then passing it off on relatives/ my brother. However, after years of trying to embrace the protein, I’ve finally found one that I actually like the taste of and isn’t the most expensive thing ever.

Myprotein is a pretty good website in terms of offers – I’m always getting emails with excellent deal codes. So, last week I decided to invest in a 2.5kg of ‘Total Oats and Whey’. It is what it sounds like, a mixture of whey protein and oats. I decided to go for ‘Chocolate Smooth’ flavour and I really like it.  I’ll have one in the morning and I’ll have one in the afternoon or evening or after a workout. I feel like I’m doing myself some good and I don’t feel like snacking at all. It’s not about bulking up, for me, as it would be for a guy hitting the gym and doing heavy weights. It’s about recovery and looking after my muscles and not getting injured and being the best I can be.