Must revise...

Thoughts before the snow...everything still applies, just a lot less running since the silly slippery sludge....

I find that training and preparing for a long ultra is sort of like revising for an important exam. You have to make sure you put in enough hours of revision; otherwise you get to ‘test’ day and your ‘mind can go blank’. Okay, true, anything can go wrong when you’re attempting to run 100 miles, even if you have done as much training as you possibly can. However, with so much to think about, it’s always great to turn up on that start line feeling as fit as you can, and being able to give it your best shot. This brings me to how I’m feeling at the moment.

I’ve let ‘training mode’ take over my brain and any objections in the lazy part of my brain, that don’t want to face the freezing cold outside are being hushed and ignored. It’s time to get serious. Okay, so, I will admit that I haven’t ‘made friends’ with January like I intended to in my New Year’s Resolutions (wow, makes me realise just how long it is since I have written a blog...). In fact, I’d probably say that January, thus far has been my enemy. The January blues have hit hard this year. Yet, past the second week of the month now, fear has taken hold: ultra-fear. It’s where a lightning bolt moment hits you, an epiphany and suddenly you’re like, ‘Crap, I need to train properly, otherwise it is REALLY gonna’ hurt/ hurt more/ be even harder and I haven’t got a crew, so I can’t randomly drop out in the middle of nowhere… I have to make that finish!’

As some may recall, last year’s Thames Path 100 was a bit traumatic. On a personal level associated with my disorganisation, we bombed it to the start with hardly any time to spare, and just as the race directors were about stop registering people and stop giving out race numbers. Then I had to quickly get my act together, calm myself and do all the usual pre-race faffing around-ness.

On a much grander scale, I made it to the very last checkpoint at Lower Radley and Mile 95 (I’m sure we’d covered more mileage due to diversions, but the official distance was this), whereupon the race was cancelled due to hypothermic runners and freezing weird weather, which included constant rain from the early morning, waterlogged river paths, freezing wind and even some snow! I battled so much last year. We got lost earlier in the race due to some diverted pathways, but we got back on track. Then, having made up time for the time lost earlier, somehow I found myself making the Mile 71 checkpoint with minutes to spare. I needed to pee, but pushed that to the back of my mind and luckily I forgot I needed to during the night section, as I simply didn’t have time to go. I didn’t have time to refuel. That’s bad…you should always try and make some time to get the energy in.

Anyway, my point is, I battled back and clawed back the time until I had hours to spare, and was set on making that finish line ‘comfortably’. So, it was very traumatic to get to Mile 95 and be only 5 miles away from the finish line and yet, never get to set foot on the finish line. At the time I was numb. It was no-body’s fault, just a set of bad circumstances regarding the weather. Me and this race have unfinished business. So, I have to go in to it as prepared and as determined as possible and I’m not going to let some January blues get in my way.

Normally, my January race(s) of choice and ‘ultra training’ would be Ultra Race’s 45/90 (back to back 45 milers) from Northampton to Tring and back again the following day. I have done this event every January for the last three years. It will definitely be missed this January. It is also great training for the GUCR 145 miler later in the year, since it follows the Grand Union Canal and an important road section over Blisworth Tunnel. Anyway, in the absence of this race I have booked Wilmot Wander 32 miler for Sunday. I have done this event before – we got very, very lost in the last section and did a lot of extra mileage. However, this is a very low key, LDWA style event and only about £10 to enter, so it comes in really handy for some long distance training and time on the feet. Of course, this is all depending on the recent crazy, snowy weather we have been hit with. Fingers Crossed. I’ve also got a marathon list going, predominantly for February and a few weeks before March 23^rd and the big day that is the Thames Path 100.

Still on the job hunt, I have found it pretty difficult to organise doing events. In the past I haven’t worried too much about how far away races are and I generally accept event prices and don’t grumble too much. But it’s a lot harder when you have to consciously plan what you can afford to do. Petrol is always expensive anyway, but it becomes a much bigger consideration when you’re living on a shoe-string budget. I’ve missed out on a lot of races that I would absolutely love to do and I’ve just learnt to not read Facebook newsfeed so I can ‘block out’ all the fantastic events that all my runner buddies are always doing haha. Ultimately, I’d like to be able to do all sorts again. For training purposes, marathons and ultra’s are so ideal for long, social training runs.  I’ve got a few ‘cheap ones’ on the horizon though, so not all bad ;) and you have to learn to take the rough with the smooth. It gives me a good kick up the bum to get out there, on my own and make it happen.

Note: I’m pretty clumsy, it has to be said. I’m the type of person that will bang into a shelf whilst simply walking around a shop or something, for no apparent reason. Whilst I am more than happy to run in almost any weather – I’ve been up on the moors in fog, freezing sleet, rain, wind etc.; - I get a bit nervy around frosty ground, ice and snow.

Okay, so, we British can be a bit dramatic about our reactions to weather, especially snow. It’s not like were in northern America or Canada or something, but we simply can’t deal with it. Anyway, shortly after declaring all the ‘above’, about me having my ‘training head’ well and truly screwed on, the snow took over. Admittedly, it’s not been majorly deep here, but it has been icy and slippery and slushy. I haven’t wanted to risk it. It’s now been a few days and there’s not been much running. Finally, the other night, I ventured outside and found some bit of road where the snow had melted. I didn’t run far, but it was a very welcome run. It felt good to get out there. In my downtime, I’ve been doing some weights, squats and lunges...not quite the same, but you’ve got to keep it up somehow :o)

Double Round the Reservoir Marathonage

28^th – 29^th July, Madeyarun Around the Reservoir

This was my first double in absolutely ages and I was much looking forward to it, if not a little disorganised for it; meaning that I left it until the very last minute to get all my kit and stuff together, I literally just flung in everything and anything I thought I might need into numerous bags. It always ends up looking like I’m about to go on some massive expedition! Well, at least I had everything I needed.

I was looking forwards to seeing all of the usual suspects and I was not disappointed. There were so many faces there that I hadn’t seen in such a long time and it was great. It really cheered me up, since at the moment I am finding it pretty hard to muster together the money to do many of these races. This is particularly hard considering that ‘marathon season’ is fast approaching and there are loads of awesome autumn events on the horizon *Grrrrr* It’s a bit of a trying time to be honest, but long distance running always puts a smile on my face.

Marathon Day 1

It had been raining up in the North West, but once down in Northampton the sun really came out. And it was Olympics opening weekend, so I’m sure it was a good omen. It was absolutely boiling in Northampton. It was sunny too. However, it was hotter rather than bright shining sun. I could literally see and feel the salt on my head. I could have exfoliated with it! I think you get the picture how warm it was…

It was a 7 lap course around the reservoir and started off with a shorter loop and then the next 6 laps followed the same path and was slightly longer, ultimately culminating in just over 26 miles and marathon distance. Unfortunately, but very predictably, a few of us got a bit lost on the start of the second and bigger lap. All was ok. It simply meant that we ended up running about half a mile extra, but no big deal. You scratch your head, work out where you went wrong, turn around and get on with it. At least we avoided going wrong again.

There was a check point table of goodies and friendly helpers at the end of the loop and it was lovely to refuel on coke, my favourite and most loved running fuel of choice. I never tire of it and it always gives me and boost and I always look forwards to it. Addicted to cola? Perhaps. I don’t really drink it too much when not running. That is, unless it contains some sort of spirit ;-)

There was a nice mix of cycle paths, grass and off-road on this course. It made things interesting and mixed it up a bit. I’m not the best lover of laps, but when the terrain is variable, it always makes things more interesting and I like that. Also, one side of the reservoir was a lot warmer and more exposed to the sun than the other side. This meant that on the far side of the water there was a lovely cooling breeze. This was the best balance of all.

Overall, this was a nice fun steady run. After I finished I sat under the tree, relaxed and ate some salted crisps. Oh, I also drank some more coke. We were staying in a Holiday Inn and it just happened to be right at the start/ finish, which was ideal. I was able to get a lovely shower, catch up on the day’s Olympic cycling and chill out. I also got a bit dressed up and went down to the bar and refuelled with a nice refreshing pint. Later on, me and a lot of other runners hit a local pub and had some much needed grub…and another pint. I’m pretty sure some had much more than that….

I didn’t get much sleep on the Saturday night because there was a huge 50^th birthday party going on in the hotel. It was quite funny listening to all the cheesy tunes though and seeing how hungover some of the other runners were the next day was quite an amusing sight to behold, so I’ll forgive a bit of noise.

Marathon Day 2

I was feeling pretty hungry and took advantage of the buffet style breakfast. I love staying in hotels. I especially love fancy coffee machines that give you fancy frothy coffee. I may have had too many. I needed the caffeine. Today was to be another hot day, but not quite as sunny.

I think I was ever so slightly faster on day 2, which isn’t really saying much because I wasn’t particularly fast on day 1. I guess time is insignificant to me at these types of events. It was just a really very lovely social run.

I didn’t get lost on day 2, but I did get ever so slightly muddy and I definitely got soaked. The heavens opened a bit later on and it really rained quite hard. It started, and then it stopped and then started up again and even threw in a bit of thunder. I didn’t see any lightening, but even hearing thunder when out doing a marathon kind of fills me with a bit of dread. I start to ponder how fast I could run if I really needed to. I also do this with fields and cows. I start to think of possible escape routes and if I could outrun what I fear the most. I guess it makes me run faster, for a bit!  Fortunately the bad weather really started on the last lap and I was safe anyway, I just tend to get ever so slightly paranoid.

I had a really nice run on the Sunday. I had felt slightly ill on Saturday. My stomach felt awful and was cramping up and I think the heat had played a large part in that. Overall, all was good. I did come away with some rather fetching tan lines, however. Apparently the trick is that I need to alter the length of my shorts, but I don’t know how short I’m willing to go haha. I don’t think I can really pull that look off very well! For now I will just be proud of my funky tan lines. All in all this was a really well organised weekend and I really like the medals we got. For doing the double we received a little bonus medal :) I do like bling!

Things I learnt from the weekend?

The threat of lightening makes me run faster. I quite like running in the rain (but I guess that idea is just reaffirmed). Coke is the best drink during a run. Beer is the best drink after a run (and Guinness of course).  I need to alter the length of my shorts…

Hills, adventure & ponderings

An ultra adventure and lots of thoughts from the last couple of weeks.

A year has passed…. *sniffles*

It seems surreal that an entire year has passed since I took on my biggest challenge to date: Brathay Challenge of 10 marathons in 10 days around one of the toughest road marathon courses in the UK. The Brathay Windermere Marathon course is beautiful and inspiring and I love the Lake District. But it is tough and hilly and emotional and the uniqueness of this challenge and what makes it so challenging is that you must face your demons every day. If you grow to dislike a part of the course then you must face that enemy every day and it becomes a huge mental battle as well as a tremendous challenge of physical endurance. I must admit, I have felt all week that a part of me is there somehow. Last Friday when this year’s class of 2012 commenced their magnificent journey I thought of them intensely and recalled me drive up to Windermere the day before I started mine. I recalled the emotions, my hopes and my fears and how it all played out as the days rolled by. This event becomes a part of you and I don’t think it ever leaves but I think those memories have often lain dormant until now, reading this year’s blogs and feeling the raw emotion detailed within the words therein. I feel quite emotional and I intend to venture to Windermere for Sunday for Day 10 and the annual Windermere Marathon. It’ll be 3 years to the day since my very first marathon at Windermere and its going to be an emotional one. But it’ll also be a proud one and a happy day of celebration for the runners of 2012 and their magnificent achievement. 

My biggest challenge of late was heading back to the Malvern Hills Ultra to conquer my demons and a lot of unfinished business left over from a DNF at 45 miles in 2010. It was certainly very hilly and most definitely a big challenge…

Malvern Hills Ultra – 53+ miler, Saturday 5^th May 2012

Now, the course was really very different from when I last attempted this ultra in 2010, but the hills remained the same. I’m pretty sure a good chunk of the course has changed since 2010 anyway, however significant rainfall in the weeks leading up to this event made the route uncertain until the week before this year’s event. The River Severn had experienced serious flooding and consequently the route had to be drastically altered. Normally we would be heading out towards the Malvern Hills and looping back around to the start at Holt Castle. However, as it turns out, the amended version of this route was to prove even hillier…we were to run out-and-back. Navigating towards and over the Malvern Hills, we then needed to retrace our steps. Navigationally, this seemed easier but –achy-leg wise all I could think was, ‘I wonder which way around the hills are going to hurt the most?’ The answer was to be conclusive: no matter which way you tackle these hills and even the lesser hills on the course, hills will still be hills and legs will still be achy going up them and therefore, every way hurts the most ;-)

So, with a 4am wake up call to make it to the start line for 7ish am we headed towards Malvern and of course, despite leaving early we were late. Well, when I say late I mean we got lost and our satnav couldn’t quite work out the entrance to the start. Fortunately with a bit of guesswork and a turnaround we managed to outsmart the satnav and reached the start line. Leaping out of the car and scrambling for my map-case (to be used for keeping things dry rather than mappage…I am the most useless person with a map, but I did have some written instructions…), bag and banana I jogged over towards race HQ and got my number, attempted to listen to the brief whilst fiddling with my bag and number and ultimately did the most important thing and got to the front of the loo queue…I always worry about this because there is nothing worse than starting an event when you are bursting to go to the loo and when your mind should be on the task at hand but is instead whirring with uncomfortable thoughts of how you can go for a pee…well, it is just distracting.

 
 
Luckily there wasn’t a long queue and I had a few minutes to spare as I made my way outside and turned on my Garmin. I was really doubtful that my Garmin would behave itself because it has been temperamental for months upon months and the screen will often become a mass of random pixels or blank and stop working. However I can’t afford to do anything about it right now so I just have to wing it and hope it plays along.

Ultimately I was to be extremely fortunate that my Garmin did decide to play the game. I had uploaded the course to it the night before and with its participation it was able to point us in a lot of correct directions when we very nearly went in a lot of wrong ones. I mean, don’t get me wrong, we did go in some very varied directions also…just not as many as we would have done. This was a very good day for my technology to be working.

I gather that because the route had to be amended in a hurry that some of the written directions weren’t so spot on or as detailed as they might have been. This caused us to get confused at a few tricky junctions. At certain parts of the course there existed ‘Punch Points’ at which we were required to punch a tally card. Failure to reach these punch points and return these cards on the way out and back would result in a 10 minute time penalty added to our official recorded finishing time. I guess this only hugely mattered if you were trying to race and win this event. For us mere mortals we reasoned that if a Punch Point were to be hard to find and take us longer than the 10 minute penalty that we would incur for missing it, then it was probably better to incur that time penalty, because spending a lot of time looking for it would cost us even more time. Fortunately, we were quite adept at finding these points. The last one was tricky, but we found it.

Hills, feeling nauseous and fuelling

The main things that will stay with me with regards to this event are most poignantly the hills! I never facebook or tweet or anything normally during an ultra, but I felt I had to facebook how hilly these hills are. And I’ve done quite a few hilly things.  For some reason they can really zap all the energy out of your legs… I really suffered on this one with a lack of energy and feelings of nausea. Hills can do that to you with regards to nausea. I find that they can affect your breathing which adds to feelings of sickness. However, I also knew that my nutrition strategy for the day wasn’t going so great. I think sometimes it’s fair to say that I almost feel self conscious for eating so early on in an event. I tend to feel quite self aware and question whether I need to eat so early on. I’m good at going for ages without eating a lot or taking on fuel during events. This is probably a better strategy to adopt in training to make you stronger rather than when you’re actually taking part in an event and NEED the fuel. I’m the same with taking on water. In the end this can have a really detrimental effect on your energy levels. I’ve experienced it before and I should know to do so by now: always eat early on…fuel up early and avoid any feelings of nausea. I think there was a stretch of around 15 miles during this ultra where I felt rag-doll like and ill. We eventually stopped at a pub for a refreshing coke, which worked wonders with my packet of prawn and cocktail crisps. I then started to take on a bit more fuel at the remaining check points in the form of peanut butter sandwiches and I really started to feel much fuller of energy and happier. I felt more raring to go at the end of what would ultimately end up to be pretty close to 54 miles that I did about 30 miles earlier. It’s strange how these things turn out. It’s all so unpredictable. I guess that’s what makes it exciting.

Dark fields, climbing gates and getting lost

 

I was really lucky on this one to come across a familiar running friend and fellow 10in10'er Noel and for him to let me and my nausea tag along really. He is much faster than me, but he provided excellent company. Sometimes these things can be lonely and with some complicated navigationally difficult bits it was nice to have that company and reassurance of going the correct way…sometimes when we weren’t…but it is a whole lot worse to be in that situation alone and not have a clue where you are, with no one to ask. I was also kept amused on route by a new running buddy, Ellie. It was lovely to meet her and I hope to see her on a lot more of these crazy off-road things. Ellie is currently undertaking ‘The Memorial Mile Challenge’ and is running a mile in official races for every service person that has been killed in Afghanistan in Op Herrick. So, needless to say I had lovely and very inspiring company on this adventure.

At some points we took wrong turns and my Garmin would beep that we were ‘off course’, but we managed to get back on the right path together. I can be pretty rubbish with maps so it was nice to have reassurance from two other people. We ended up in a few fields that were pretty hard to navigate once it had gotten dark, but we just kept moving forward and climbed any gates we had to. Climbing gates was a bit of struggle in the latter stages. You really do stiffen up. However, in the latter stages I actually did feel better in myself other that the usual creaky stiffening of muscles. I no longer felt ill and I think the fuel I had been taking on had finally reached my system and made me feel better. All was good and definitely a bit of the route that we had covered some 50 miles earlier was beginning to look familiar. Then, with only a few miles left to go, I thought I could see a figure just in front of us. We hadn’t seen another runner for absolutely hours, but sure enough here was someone just ahead of us.

   

As it would turn out, there were actually 4 people just in front of us. They had gotten lost some miles earlier and phoned the Race Directors for some guidance. But we now knew we were on the right track and together we all ran to the finish, as the race director came out to greet us. This was the moment we had been working for all day and we were here, at the finish. Hurrah! I LOVE this feeling. I love it. Honestly, there is nothing more satisfying than reaching the finish line and feeling really pleased with it, having overcome obstacles and worked hard out there all day to make it happen. Whenever I get down with the world I think of these moments and treasure them. If I could bottle these moments I would, but then you just can’t buy them. They can only be earned ;-)

As far as finishing venues go, and starting ones for that matter (although it was even better at the finish and I got to explore the venue more) this was great. Holt Castle is lovely and we were given a HUGE medal. There was also loads of tea, coffee, nibbles and food laid on. I had a lovely pasta bake and a cup of homemade soup which was just what I needed. I was even allowed to have a shower and let me tell you, the bathroom was fantastic! The shower was amazing!

 

Elevation Gain: 6,212 ft. Elevation Loss: 6, 228 ft. Min Elevation: 89 ft. Max Elevation: 1, 363 ft.

All in all I had a brilliant day and I will definitely recommend Ultrarunning ltd …they do everything to get you to the end. They stock their check points with such a variety of food and such friendly people and they just really know their running. You can’t really ask for more than a brilliant ultra event managed by brilliant runners. It was fantastic to go back and settle some unfinished business and this time there was no rain or cows…just LOTS of hills ;-)

Gin Pit double marathonage :)

Gin Pit Marathon –Day 1: Sat 23^rd March

I stayed up mega late on Friday night as I decided to take a peek at the Sports Relief programmes on catch-up. Luckily my running destination on Saturday and Sunday were only a short way up the motorway and only 39miles away…this is really close for me, because normally I’m travelling here there and everywhere and I’ve been known to get in the car at 3am before and drive to an event and then drive back home afterwards. It can be a bit tiring. So, I was feeling immense relief at the closeness of these marathons.

Saturday was a scorcher from the moment I got in the car at 7.30ish am. 

I’m not the best in the heat, it has to be said. I’m more arctic ultra-wannabe rather than MDS Desert dreamer. Yep, I love the summer and I don’t mind wandering around in the sun or relaxing in it, but put me and exercise and the sun together and it’s not an amazingly happy combination. That being said, I have a strange urge to tackle some of the ‘crazy American races’ in the future when I’m faster and wealthier haha… Anyway, it was a lovely day though.

The route started off on trails and after around 8miles made its way onto the canal which was really very pretty to begin with, with lovely olde-worlde Tudor buildings and posh houses. However, the canals inevitably made its way into Salford and the industrial north. I think this was the least pleasant bit. It’s not the runs fault though; it’s just the place and the dogs. I need to get over it, but I fear I never will. I’ve been petrified of ‘scary looking’ dogs since I was little. I’m ok with some dogs. I don’t love any dog jumping up at me or running towards me, but as long as they look remotely ‘cute’ in a broad sense then I’m not too scared of them. However, unfortunately for the unfortunate looking dogs, there are certain breeds and stereotypes that I just can’t shift from my mind. For all I know and I suspect more often than not, the dogs in question are just fine and well mannered, but it’s just the way they look. ‘Status dogs’ really frighten me and they seem to be rife right now in more urban areas. 

Anyway, there were lots around this bit of the canal…it always seem to be along canals where I see the most scary dogs. And they often seem to be just left to wander around and not on a leash. I had one of my usual panics and got a bit scared. I was all alone, feeling a bit flustered in the warmth and then I had to pass a scary looking dog that wasn’t on a lead and its owner just looked at me blankly as I passed. I probably was looking like a right idiot, because I was actually really scared. So, my running was practically nonexistent for quite a few miles whilst I tiptoed down canal paths away from fearsome looking dogs. I felt a bit low. And I very nearly contemplated not doing day 2.

All was ok in the end as I caught up with some familiar faces in the last 4 miles. It was lovely to not be alone and talk to somebody. The canal paths ended, we got onto some roads and eventually back onto the trail and were homeward bound. 

I had a lovely cold glass of fizzy apple juice at the finish with lots of ice. I was frazzled.

Gin Pit Marathon –Day 2: Sun 24th March

I made sure to put my clock forward the night before and got into bed early….well I suppose I didn’t get into bed too early really because the time was changing, so hmmmm….complicated. I was awoken at 10.30pm ‘real time’ by friends asking if I wanted to go for a drink in the pub down the road, to which I replied I was in bed. So I had to explain that I was now on ‘future fake’ time in order to get up early. That lost hour really does make a difference though! Gosh I was knackered when I woke up on Sunday morning. I just wanted to go back to bed. I had to stop myself from climbing back into my pit. I reasoned that I would really not sleep much later anyway because soon the sun would be shining in through the window and it'd be warming up. I was definitely glad I decided not to be lazy and got into my car and drove up that motorway. It was a slower, but happier day on Sunday. I wasn’t running alone and there weren’t as many scary dogs around and about. Yey. 

However, we did encounter something that I have never before encountered on a run. We ran past a crime scene. A body had been found in a field and a full-blown murder investigation was in full swing. There was forensics on the scene in full body cover, multiple police vehicles, support officers, cordoned-off footpaths, and police keeping guard of the footpaths. It was all very surreal and interesting, yet obviously sad. So after we ran away from the scene of the crime (literally) we just had to tackle the last bit. And I nearly forgot, we even encountered a chicken. How could I forget the chicken that crossed the road to get to the other side? We never got to find out why exactly the chicken decided to play chicken, but it sure was funny watching Davey trying to shoo it back onto the pavement and behind a fence. Classic.

I liked the last bit a lot. There were some nice trails and evidence of countryside again. There was also the big puddle, but I didn’t mind. Overall I think it’s fair to say that a good weekend was had by all.

Garmin Update: On the Saturday it worked. It worked all day pretty much. I think it started to go a bit mental after around 22 miles, but overall its performance was ok. On Sunday, my Garmin was crappy. The screen was flickering and well before the 20mile mark, the screen had become utterly unreadable. The pixels had splattered into random flickering dots. I still managed to get satellite connection and hooked it up to my computer afterwards to view my route. However, it’s not really too great that you can’t use it whilst you’re actually running and it was only really chance that I managed to record the run, because I couldn’t read the screen in the slightest for it to tell me what it was actually doing. So this = bad. I simply can’t afford another. And I rely on it so much. So for now I’ll just have to struggle on with my unpredictable dying Garmin 310xt :(

I love back-to back marathons. They’re great training runs really. Realistically, I’m not going to get myself out of the door and run a massive run on my own. I could if I was motivated and organised enough to do so, but realistically I know I’m rubbish at planning a route and sticking to a plan of going out for a lengthy lonesome run. Therefore, these races are great for putting in some extra miles.

  

There will come a day when I focus on races again. I had only just started out running events when I hastily seemed to ditch the idea of actually racing something and bettering my time and just as I was on the up time-wise, I discovered the madness of multiple marathons and ultra’s and time seemed to take a backseat and I look upon events more as fun social training runs now. I’d be lying if I didn’t confess that it upsets and annoys me sometimes when people just presume to call me a slow runner; not that there’s anything wrong with going at your own preferred pace. I don’t know, it just gets to me how others can perceive my pace and how people can judge you. That’s not important though, I just thought I’d rant. It has been one of those weeks.

“What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us” – Ralph Waldo Emerson