It's always darkest before the dawn... Thames Path 100 ramble

‘And all of the ghouls come out to play/ And every demon wants his pound of flesh/ But I like to keep some things to myself/ I like to keep my issues drawn/ It's always darkest before the dawn...’ (Florence and the Machine song, ‘Shake it Out’, which seemed to be stuck in my head for a lot of the hard night section...)

Actually, I can remember the song I had stuck in my head last year...at around the 70mile mark, in a cold, wet field; it was Paradise by Coldplay (ha)!  Somehow, ironic or not, my stuck-in-my-head song choices seem to fit!

“Whatever level of discomfort you reach, you reach deliberately. You’ve met the negative head-on, on your own terms. You own it, and you’ll own it forever.

And your world gets bigger. Your spectrum of experiences broadens in all directions — positive and negative. We don’t grow in a line. We grow in a sphere. If you master X, you get access to Y. That’s how it works”. – Johnny B. Truant (Taken from ‘You are dying, and your world is a lie’, this awesome writer dude who just writes really awesome blogs/ books/ has a website...check him out!)

So, wow, what a weekend the Thames Path 100 was!  Below is what I wrote at the time and then I’ve added some other stuff to the random ramblings....

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So, although I had trained a little, I haven’t run in two weeks whilst I’ve been in London. It’s all been pretty hectic. Good, but hectic. And then before I knew it, Thames Path race day was looming. I had massive unfinished business with this, and I was determined to do it.


A few days or so before Thames Path, I was doing some reading up of Thames Path/ Centurion related stuff on the website and also got a few pre-race emails, and then as the week progressed, it became apparent that weather would again interfere with my mission to run to oxford. When it was confirmed that the course would indeed be drastically altered due to flooding along the Thames Path, I felt pretty stressed out. Although, obviously, everyone must have...especially the poor organisers. So, the changes went like this: “The first 38 miles of the course are unchanged. At Cookham you will turn around and run back to Walton (aid station 1). At Walton you will turn around and head back to Cookham. At Cookham the second time you will turn around and run back only as far as Windsor where you will finish. Examine the aid station link carefully for the precise details. The course distance is as close to 100 miles as we can make it, but will run very slightly long, potentially 2 - 3 miles”.


Now, I love point-to-point courses because you’re running to somewhere/ progressing towards a destination, and I pretty much really don’t like laps and out-and-backs very much; I don’t even like them in marathons. Therefore, I was really dreading the fact that a 100mile course would now be made up of all these out-and-back sections. Also, I was a little worried that the path was going to end up pretty muddy/ trampled from all the running up and down. This did happen, but I think it was inevitable, and it had been wet leading up to the event. It’s quite funny, because in the first bit I kept thinking ‘oh, I don’t really like this concrete bit around the streets’, but afterwards, I think all that was on my mind and everyone else’s was, ‘please let this mud stop, bring back the concrete’.

This isn’t going to be a very clear race report, as such. I’ve got lots of work to do (and some sleeping) and most of the thoughts that keep coming to mind revolve around being chilly, mud & the race being quite brutal. Running wise, I like to think of myself as quite a tough cookie. However, it’s strange...you wouldn’t normally think of the flat Thames Path + running, and think ‘brutal’. Okay, so it was close to 103 miles, but still. Mentally it was very tough. I coped well with seeing front runners on their way back to the next CP near the start of the race. However, as tiredness set in and it got a bit chilly, you couldn’t help but ‘torture’ yourself with thoughts on how much further ahead they were than you. It wasn’t that you wanted to beat them, you just wanted the mud to be over as soon as possible and to be warm and to sleep.

Some runners reckoned it wasn’t as cold as it had been forecast. However, I felt freezing...I really couldn’t warm up & I kept layering up. During the night section, I felt so sleepy. I kept drinking Lucozade to pep myself up and listened to some music and my mp3 and sang a bit to myself...anything to keep myself awake. Oh, and I rambled onto Traviss a lot! Thank goodness I ended up running with him, it was so lovely to have company and someone to talk to/ steal American m&ms off of & generally keep myself sane for 80 miles.

At 3am on Sunday morning and around mile 65 or so, I felt a sharp pain, like I’d been cut, on the sole of my foot. I don’t get blisters a lot, but after peeling off my sock, I realised that I had a lot. The one that was causing me particular discomfort was between my big toe & second toe, right at the bottom. My feet were so macerated and blistered and sore. I just had to pierce the blisters and plaster up and hope for the best. I was a bit worried. Fortunately, they didn’t get any worse for some time. However, the pain and discomfort from my feet in the last 15 miles was awful. Really unbearable.


I kept ‘treating’ myself to little sit-downs on benches or leaning against a post, to take off my shoe and air my feet & itch them...they were so hot and itchy and sore. So, there I was, freezing, but my feet were steaming hot. Not that I was in any great physical state by this point, but I found that I was still running sort of okay, because walking was harder than run-shuffling, since it was putting more pressure on my feet/ longer contact with the ground....so I was able to do little sprints, walk, run, hobble etc. They really, really did hurt though. But I accept the pain. I know doing a 100 miler is going to involve some discomfort. I did have a bit of a cry in the last 20 miles though. I just felt very emotional. I was emotional about my sore feet and emotional about the prospect of finishing this one after last year. This weekend was just surreal.


There’s so much more I need to write really. And to mention that the volunteers/ aid station folk were all fantastic. I was moving about and freezing, so they must have been so cold stood there at the CPs, but had to keep going, to keep us all fed and chirpy.

Getting to that finish line was amazing, but so strange. I made it in around 28 hrs. 40ish something mins. It never quite seems real that you travelled that far without transport. Today I have hobbled a lot & my feet are quite swollen, but it’s all worth it :-)

Some after-thoughts....

I think I got my eating pretty spot-on for this. But it’s so easy to make mistakes and not eat enough/ the right stuff. I think it’s a pretty common thing that you get into a pace whilst running an ultra and just don’t feel like eating so much...I do this quite a lot. I can remember moments where I’ve had to literally ‘shoot’ food back before with water, which makes you want to be sick, but you have to do it anyway to just get something, anything into your stomach. This tends to happen to me if I leave it too long to eat, because then I really find it hard to chew and eat and swallow food and it’s a vicious circle that you have to break. If you don’t eat enough, often enough then you feel sick and don’t feel like eating. But if you feel sick and don’t feel like eating, then you can’t get in the fuel that you need. And if you can’t get in the fuel that you need, then you’re basically screwed!  So, I started nibbling on some munchies from the first five miles or so.

Food I munched (in no specific order)....

Traviss’s crazy American peanut butter & wafer m&ms; meal replacement protein shake; massive tasty soft oaty choc-chip cookie (everything seems to have a long name...); 3 packs of crisps; cheese wraps; buckets of coffee; chocolate coated strawberries at 73mile CP = amazing; Nature Valley oat bar; Coke; peanut butter sandwich; Pasta with some bolognaise sauce; Lucozade; more crazy m&ms; a blueberry muffin; more crisps & peanut nibbles at CP’s...

So basically....

I loved it. Even though I had a cry and my feet were trashed and itchy and hot and sore. I loved it even though I couldn’t seem to get warm and those last few miles seemed to go on and on forever, with the added nuisance of this amazingly freezing persistent mean wind that we all kept swearing at. I’ve really missed the adventure and I’m seriously craving some more. My overall time was 28h48m3s. Oh, and my trail shoes are still muddy & in a plastic bag. It’s just how I roll...

No frills, just words... (Lots of words)

I think the upsides to not running so many marathons or ultras are that I now really appreciate how great it felt, at the time, to take part in so many races; meet so many other runners and like-minded people, and run in some truly lovely surroundings.

The feeling of finishing a race is like no other, I think. It’s this euphoric feeling and nothing else really matters. It’s something that no one can take away from you. It’s this inner happiness that radiates through you entirely. It’s something that you can’t buy, but only experience through hard effort and therefore, it’s genuine. It’s something that you wish you could bottle up and really show someone who hasn’t experienced it, just how great it is. Truth be told, it’s really quite addictive. I really miss it. If only I’d done something other than an arts/ humanities related degree subject (BA Drama and English), then maybe I wouldn’t find myself unemployed. But I can’t dwell on that, and believe me, I have dwelled on this a lot. Ultimately, it wouldn’t be me if I had chosen another path. I might not even be sat here typing all of this now, because, who knows, in a different reality I may never have even run one marathon. So, no dwelling. I only wish to be able to do what I love doing some more.

I had hoped that I would be able to afford to make it to some ‘training’ marathons/ shorter ultras this February and March, in preparation for Thames Path 100 at the end of March. This 100 miler means a lot to me. As I’ve previously mentioned in other blog posts, I made it to Mile 96 last year, before the race was cancelled due to hypothermic weather conditions. Needless to say, I have a lot of unfinished business with this race, and I am also pretty nervous about taking part.

Unfortunately, I have only managed one event this year, so far. I completed the Wilmot Wander 32 miler at the end of January. Having done no events in December, it felt so great to put on my off-road trail shoes and run through massive puddles and mud. I miss it so incredibly much right now. I think I can speak for the majority of distance runners when I say, that, running is not merely a hobby for me, but a way of life. It is not just a little hobby that I could take or leave. It becomes a part of who you are. I cannot imagine who I would be, or what I would do without it in my life.

So, I have a list of marathons that I constantly update and I cross things off on this list when I have officially entered or completed an event. I think it is the one area of my life where I am completely organised (most of the time)! For February, I had entered the Belvoir Challenge 26 miler for Sat 23^rd, but ultimately I just couldn’t afford to get there.  I do look up how far away events are from where I live, in advance. However, for some reason, I had underestimated just how far away this one was.

 Actually, in the ‘good old days’, 2 ½ hours away wouldn’t have been considered so far away, by my standards. However, these days, on a budget, 2 ½ hours away is quite a lot of petrol pennies. Then on Sun 24^th, a lovely running friend alerted me to the fact that their marathon was on the Sunday – Poets Path Potter marathon. Again, my head was filled with possibilities about how I could possibly make this one, maybe I would be able to scrape together some money, and maybe I could get there...maybe, maybe, maybe. I couldn’t. This was a real shame, because it would have been lovely to see runners who I haven’t seen in so long. These are the people and the races that used to make up my weekends.



Now, instead of friendly runners and running adventures, I dread my weekends. They are lonely places, wherein I don’t see any friendly faces and I don’t go on any running adventures. Yes, I drag myself out of the house and my rut for a good 8-10 miler and my miles are getting faster, but the camaraderie isn’t there. There’s no great fun in it. They can be really enjoyable runs, but it’s not the same. I have now ‘banned’ myself from looking at Facebook newsfeed, because I just truly and completely miss all the events I used to be able to do so freely. It hurts.

There are upsides though, as I said. I weigh a lot less than I did when I was running multiple marathons every weekend (weirdly). In theory, your body just become more efficient and likely conserves more energy, rather than burning it really quickly. With so many long distance runs, it’s probably in some kind of panic/ survival mode and thinking, what on earth are you putting me through?! There’s that theory and also the fact that I definitely did eat a lot more junk after races. I just craved salty fast food and it was pretty much all I could/ wanted to eat after a really long event. Also, since not running so many long events, my running has gotten better. I’ve picked up some speed again and that feels really nice to get out there for a run and be pleasantly surprised by how much mileage you were able to pack into an hour!

So, this major lack of marathon and ultra-running does have its advantages. But, I’m not going to lie; I miss it and I’d much rather be doing more events right now. Fortunately, I’ve got thoughts of Thames Path 100, GUCR (145 miler) and Thunder Run (24 hour run) to keep myself occupied.  Yet, I’d give anything to breathe in the overpowering smell of deep heat and smelly runners’ right now...

Must revise...

Thoughts before the snow...everything still applies, just a lot less running since the silly slippery sludge....

I find that training and preparing for a long ultra is sort of like revising for an important exam. You have to make sure you put in enough hours of revision; otherwise you get to ‘test’ day and your ‘mind can go blank’. Okay, true, anything can go wrong when you’re attempting to run 100 miles, even if you have done as much training as you possibly can. However, with so much to think about, it’s always great to turn up on that start line feeling as fit as you can, and being able to give it your best shot. This brings me to how I’m feeling at the moment.

I’ve let ‘training mode’ take over my brain and any objections in the lazy part of my brain, that don’t want to face the freezing cold outside are being hushed and ignored. It’s time to get serious. Okay, so, I will admit that I haven’t ‘made friends’ with January like I intended to in my New Year’s Resolutions (wow, makes me realise just how long it is since I have written a blog...). In fact, I’d probably say that January, thus far has been my enemy. The January blues have hit hard this year. Yet, past the second week of the month now, fear has taken hold: ultra-fear. It’s where a lightning bolt moment hits you, an epiphany and suddenly you’re like, ‘Crap, I need to train properly, otherwise it is REALLY gonna’ hurt/ hurt more/ be even harder and I haven’t got a crew, so I can’t randomly drop out in the middle of nowhere… I have to make that finish!’

As some may recall, last year’s Thames Path 100 was a bit traumatic. On a personal level associated with my disorganisation, we bombed it to the start with hardly any time to spare, and just as the race directors were about stop registering people and stop giving out race numbers. Then I had to quickly get my act together, calm myself and do all the usual pre-race faffing around-ness.

On a much grander scale, I made it to the very last checkpoint at Lower Radley and Mile 95 (I’m sure we’d covered more mileage due to diversions, but the official distance was this), whereupon the race was cancelled due to hypothermic runners and freezing weird weather, which included constant rain from the early morning, waterlogged river paths, freezing wind and even some snow! I battled so much last year. We got lost earlier in the race due to some diverted pathways, but we got back on track. Then, having made up time for the time lost earlier, somehow I found myself making the Mile 71 checkpoint with minutes to spare. I needed to pee, but pushed that to the back of my mind and luckily I forgot I needed to during the night section, as I simply didn’t have time to go. I didn’t have time to refuel. That’s bad…you should always try and make some time to get the energy in.

Anyway, my point is, I battled back and clawed back the time until I had hours to spare, and was set on making that finish line ‘comfortably’. So, it was very traumatic to get to Mile 95 and be only 5 miles away from the finish line and yet, never get to set foot on the finish line. At the time I was numb. It was no-body’s fault, just a set of bad circumstances regarding the weather. Me and this race have unfinished business. So, I have to go in to it as prepared and as determined as possible and I’m not going to let some January blues get in my way.

Normally, my January race(s) of choice and ‘ultra training’ would be Ultra Race’s 45/90 (back to back 45 milers) from Northampton to Tring and back again the following day. I have done this event every January for the last three years. It will definitely be missed this January. It is also great training for the GUCR 145 miler later in the year, since it follows the Grand Union Canal and an important road section over Blisworth Tunnel. Anyway, in the absence of this race I have booked Wilmot Wander 32 miler for Sunday. I have done this event before – we got very, very lost in the last section and did a lot of extra mileage. However, this is a very low key, LDWA style event and only about £10 to enter, so it comes in really handy for some long distance training and time on the feet. Of course, this is all depending on the recent crazy, snowy weather we have been hit with. Fingers Crossed. I’ve also got a marathon list going, predominantly for February and a few weeks before March 23^rd and the big day that is the Thames Path 100.

Still on the job hunt, I have found it pretty difficult to organise doing events. In the past I haven’t worried too much about how far away races are and I generally accept event prices and don’t grumble too much. But it’s a lot harder when you have to consciously plan what you can afford to do. Petrol is always expensive anyway, but it becomes a much bigger consideration when you’re living on a shoe-string budget. I’ve missed out on a lot of races that I would absolutely love to do and I’ve just learnt to not read Facebook newsfeed so I can ‘block out’ all the fantastic events that all my runner buddies are always doing haha. Ultimately, I’d like to be able to do all sorts again. For training purposes, marathons and ultra’s are so ideal for long, social training runs.  I’ve got a few ‘cheap ones’ on the horizon though, so not all bad ;) and you have to learn to take the rough with the smooth. It gives me a good kick up the bum to get out there, on my own and make it happen.

Note: I’m pretty clumsy, it has to be said. I’m the type of person that will bang into a shelf whilst simply walking around a shop or something, for no apparent reason. Whilst I am more than happy to run in almost any weather – I’ve been up on the moors in fog, freezing sleet, rain, wind etc.; - I get a bit nervy around frosty ground, ice and snow.

Okay, so, we British can be a bit dramatic about our reactions to weather, especially snow. It’s not like were in northern America or Canada or something, but we simply can’t deal with it. Anyway, shortly after declaring all the ‘above’, about me having my ‘training head’ well and truly screwed on, the snow took over. Admittedly, it’s not been majorly deep here, but it has been icy and slippery and slushy. I haven’t wanted to risk it. It’s now been a few days and there’s not been much running. Finally, the other night, I ventured outside and found some bit of road where the snow had melted. I didn’t run far, but it was a very welcome run. It felt good to get out there. In my downtime, I’ve been doing some weights, squats and lunges...not quite the same, but you’ve got to keep it up somehow :o)

The List

Whilst *attempting* to be organised yesterday – a big ask for me because I am rarely organised – I decided to update my Excel database list of marathon/ ultra distance races I have completed. So I drank some coffee, sat down at the computer and inputted lots of numbers and times and things. I eventually worked out after a few mishaps in my calculations (Excel has a mind of its own with numbers and lines sometimes I swear) that I have run 27 road marathons, 54 trail marathons & 47 ultras. I think I did about 65 ultra/ marathon events in 2011. Therefore, apparently I have the UK female record for the most marathons (includes trail stuff) run in a calendar year, which is pretty nice actually.

I enjoyed my little trip down memory lane whilst updating ‘The List’. You start to remember all the adventures, all the mud & times you took unintentional diversions! There are so many adventures within that list of races. I’ve written notes by each entry. Some of my favourite notes/ notes that provoked the most memories are:

Marathon No.5: Baxter's Loch Ness Marathon, 04 October 2009; Time: 04:00:06 – “Pb :) - bus's broke down - great marathon atmosphere”            

                   

Marathon No.10: ULTRA race 45 miler - Day 2, 24 January 2010; Time: 12:11:00 – “Very stiff, but met some lovely people”

Marathon No.17: Neolithic Marathon, 02 May 2010; Time: 05:24:46 – “Day after DNF at Malvern hills ultra (45miles in)! Made me happy”

Marathon No. 34: Ridgeway Challenge 85 miler, 28 August 2010; Time: 25:54:00 – “Feet were in the most pain, but lovely pub at the end!”           

                  

Marathon No.64:  Brathay 10in10 - Day 2, 14 May 2011; Time: 05:40:57    - “I can’t believe what I'm doing - lovely to have support on the course”

Marathon No. 72: Brathay 10in10 - Day 10, 22 May 2011; Time: 05:52:13    - “Hugely emotional & surreal - 2 yrs to the day since my first marathon”      

                                       

Marathon No.99:  Where Ravens Dare, 01 October 2011; Time:  09:14:00 – “Very tough, very hot, 5,500+ ft of ascent - 30 miles; got lost :)”

Marathon No.1: Brathay Windermere Marathon, 17 May 2009; Time: 04:04:35 - “First marathon - really enjoyed it / rained a lot at the end!”          

     

And I remember thinking; it was after my first marathon at Brathay that I was inspired by those 10in10 runners, but at my second marathon at the Isle of Mann, I thought aloud that I wanted to run 100 marathons. It’s nice to go down memory lane sometimes and remember all the little obstacles and unexpected adventures. It helps you to overcome the more difficult obstacles faced through a temporary lack of adventure and achievement. Through it all I know that there are many more adventures waiting for me over the horizon       

    

“The only real treasure is in your head. Memories are better than diamonds and nobody can steal them from you” -  Rodman Philbrick

'Keep going girl!' Liverpool Marathon

Well, I really enjoyed Liverpool Marathon :o) It has been ‘ages’ since I’ve done a marathon and I haven’t done a really big city marathon for much much longer. I love smaller, quirky and off-road events, but every once in a while it’s really great to do a big event with lots of people. It takes me back to when I first started running and the huge array of different runners and different abilities; it’s always nice to see someone finish their first marathon and there are always lots of them at these events. Also, I haven’t been doing as many events this year due to money and logistics and the last few months have been especially sparse on the race front. Therefore, I was interested in seeing what my running time would be like for this marathon. I have been training again…well, running on my own throughout the week a number of times. When I was knocking out marathons every weekend I very often didn’t train during the week at all and just used it as down time.

Having missed out on Chester, Liverpool is the next closest race to me and it feels like my ‘home race’ just as much as Chester does. I know Liverpool well and I love the city and the architecture. The view over the water in the first half was stunning. If I hadn’t have been running well for once and in some sort of rhythm, I would have stopped to take a picture ;-) The skyline just looked lovely in the morning misty sun and you could see the radio city tower nestled amongst the Liver Buildings. Running towards the Liver Building once through the tunnel was great. They really are fantastic buildings. And the support was so heart-warming around this bit. You have to love the enthusiasm of scousers ;)

I had a really strong first 14 miles and I didn’t stop once and I liked my pace. Then at around 15 miles I really needed the loo. Then I had a bit of an energy dive and took a gel. I have really gotten out of the habit of taking gels. Also, I was feeling all shivery at this point. You know that disorientated feeling you get when it’s a slightly breezy day, but you wear a vest because you know you’ll warm up too quickly otherwise…so you wear a vest, sweat a lot, sweat dries on your skin and then you end up feeling both warm and chilly at the same time? Well, I was feeling a bit like that. Does that make any sense at all? Also, I lost a bit of focus around the 15-17 mile point as it was a long straight stretch with faster runners coming back around the other side and a bit off-putting.

The support was fantastic at this race. Coming out of the tunnel was a very memorable moment. There was a huge band of drummers and the noise and atmosphere put a huge smile on everyone’s face. I also really liked running through the tunnel. I have driven through it countless times but I’ve never before run through it; I’ve never fancied the Tunnel 10k. It was an interesting experience. 

I made a point of not looking at my Garmin yesterday.  I started it a few minutes before we even made it to the front of the crowd of runners and past the start line and then I left it in the zipped pocket of my waist pack. I didn’t look at it until mile 20, when I hoped I might be able to pace myself for a ‘not too bad’ time. I never used to bother with watches. For the first year and a bit of me doing events I didn’t own a Garmin. My times were quicker because I didn’t do so much and trained smarter, but I know I am also guilty of checking my Garmin far too much instead of listening to my body and feeling how I run.

   

Yesterday I felt good in places and ran strong with how I felt at the time. I went with it. I didn’t rely on my Garmin to tell me what pace I might be running. It felt like enough at that moment. I will definitely try this tactic a lot more. Don’t get me wrong, I love my Garmin, but I think it can distract me a lot in races. Mainly I find it useful for training purposes, crazy off-road events where you don’t necessarily always have a clue how much mileage you are supposed to have done and also, I just like being a geek and uploading the maps and data afterwards. It’s interesting.

I’m going to say that my running was great to start with. Then I lost focus. Then my quads became an issue. I stupidly decided to do some kettle bell squats earlier in the week. These were not even strenuous at the time. Yet, somehow they have left me with DOMS for days. So, going into this marathon I knew my legs were not 100% and I would probably feel that later on and I did. So weighing up the facts, I definitely had the potential to be faster yesterday. I have been faster in the past. However, I have been nowhere near this fast any time in recent memory. It wasn’t super speedy but, for where I have been in the last few years, it felt great to finish in 04:30:33 :O) I’m getting some of my speed back, slowly… woooo! 

 

I’m really quite pleased with that time. It gives me a bit of hope that I’m moving in the right direction. So, afterwards, we hit a lovely pub we discovered a few months back at Matthew St. festival and I had 3 recovery Guinness’s = happy Sunday. We got chatting to another runner and his wife; they were such lovely people. It was really nice to hear stories about the marathons they have done all over the world. And he was drinking Guinness too… its catching on ;)