Temporary loss of ultra mojo

Avoiding the likelihood of further DNFs, my ultra marathon journey of 2017 is definitely over, if it ever truly started. I had intended to do the 'canalslam', having done the canal double in 2014 and 2015 (GUCR and LLCR) and always being extremely slow, but successful at canal ultras. But then in 2016, my 4 consecutive GUCR 'successes' came to an end and I dropped out, feeling as if I was running on a treadmill, with heavy legs, in the hot sun. My confidence took a knock, but I knew I'd be back this year.

But, this year,  the DNF streak continued instead and I pulled out at a similar point. My mind wasn't in the game at all and I seemed to have lost my ultra mojo. Maybe I had dropped it into the canal?

I did a couple of marathons after that and I convinced myself that my head would be in the game for KACR. It sort of was, but not enough. I can say with all certainty that I didn't try my hardest. When I knew that I was going slower than I should be, my negative voice told me I'd only just make the next CP cut off and did I want to feel the pressure of only just making that CP - it'd have a knock on effect to the next bit of the race and only just making a cut off isn't good enough, especially only 45 miles into a race; better to slow down and DNF now, get it over with. At least it was expected. And even though I've never DNFd at LLCR, I avoided it this year through fear of making it a 'DNFslam'.

But I realised then that I seem to have lost my ultra stubbornness somewhere. I seem to have misplaced my 'I will get to that finish line at any cost' mindset. I need to get it back. And there are moments I know it's still there... like when I'm running home from work with my rucksack and I feel like I'm on an adventure and moments from ultras come back into my mind and I wish I was on those adventures now. I miss that feeling. It's good to know it's still in there somewhere.

When you can't be arsed.

Thoughts of the day...

Sometimes when you really don't want to go for a run, you really, really should. You should just get your bum through that door and do it with even more urgency than ever before, because you don't want to and can't be arsed.

However, sometimes you should just give yourself a rest, stop getting 'run envy' against more motivated runners than yourself who are running down the road, stick some tunes on, chill out and relax. Or lift weights. In a dress. Or do all of the above. Even throw in a beer, especially on such a sunny day. Especially let your mind relax. I don't know about you, but my runner's mind tends to run around tirelessly, thinking about random stuff and running worries. My mind is always running.

The year I became...

...a fully fledged Primary School Teacher.

Tougher than any ultra, I have worked so hard to train and learn to become the best teacher I can be. I'm still learning. But, like most hard work, it was all worth it.

This year....

... I made it through several thunderstorms, whilst simultaneously being lost during the Liverpool to Leeds Race.

Did I feel nervous for this race? Yep, more than normal since I had bombed GUCR so bad, and dnf'd which I'd never done before and I can describe (just about) just how horrible that feels to do. I'd been lucky to escape that before last year. So, my luck changed during this year's GUCR...(not going to keep me down next year though!) I didn't want to get a taste of how it would feel to DNF at Liverpool to Leeds as well. However, I was a little unprepared and I also hadn't factored in the altered CP timings that reflected the amended lesser race time limit.

Surprisingly, all ran smoothly for a while. I got a good pace going and I chatted to some familiar faces. The weather wasn't too bad - was fairly sunny from what I can remember. But it changed.

The first sign that I got of an imminent thunderstorm was around the 70 mile mark. The thing is, at this point, we thought we had loads of time to play with. Wrong. Our pace became so slow due to the rutted, uneven ground which had now become muddy with rainwater.

There was sideways rain and wind. And I was getting a little bit scared of the lighting moving closer. I love thunderstorms, when I'm indoors. However, rather than dampening my spirits, I felt absolutely determined that I would make that next checkpoint. How dare it rain AND thunder? I legged it. And just made the next checkpoint with a bit of time in the bank. Although, I was sad to say goodbye to my running buddy thus far, who had been such fantastic company, but had decided enough was enough. Yet, I saw a familiar face from GUCR who had dnf'd at the same checkpoint back in May. Spoiler: we ran nearly the entire race together this time and both finished. Yey.

I didn't know at the time, but that was merely a warm up 'baby' thunderstorm. Just after the 100 mile point, we got horrendously lost. And I was annoyed at myself because I've done this race before, and I remember this tricky bit, but in the torrential rain that ensued, I couldn't remember the way.

We added on miles. And over an hour of time. And nearly our will to carry on. And my new iPod got completely water damaged and died. There were moments, though, when I envisioned a news story detailing how some runners had been struck by lightning whilst lost during an ill-fated ultra marathon. I have never seen rain so bad, let alone been so absolutely soaked to the skin in it and so close to lighting. Scary stuff. And yet it was all worth it.

To cut a long story shorter, my feet held up amazingly in injinji socks...until I changed them to some dry 'normal' running socks, and my shrivelled feet ended up covered in huge, deep blisters. I don't know...I've battered my feet more times than I can remember and I'm still learning. Don't change socks unless you have to - I had to deal with the worst peely feet for months afterwards.

I'm (not) a morning runner

Four months since I last wrote on here and a lot has happened. I now have a job as a primary school teacher and that is pretty amazing. And, since I have to get up early for work, I've started to make a real effort to go running early in the morning.


I have never been a morning runner. However, I have always admired those early morning runner types. What a great routine to get into,  thought... I find it far too hard to get up early sometimes. However, it finally started to make lots of sense, after years of thinking it'd be a good idea to run before work, I now try and get in a morning run as often as I can.

I had been getting up at 6ish, but I switched this to 5ish am. So, now I can get up, grab a quick coffee to wake myself up a little and be out the door by 5.30ish. The great thing is that I'm still pretty much too tired to complain that much about dragging myself our of the door or overthink it. And the hardest part is always dragging yourself out of that door! When I get back I feel so much wider awake and I can get on with my day then. It lets me be lazy later on. I don't have to do as much in the evenings as I would otherwise have to. So far, it's working really well. I'm actually out there training again!

Once a week, I also try to get a slightly longer run home from work in, with another teacher. In fact, tonight is run home from school night. I never feel too enthused about this at the end of a busy school day, but it's worth it once you're out there....

Overthinking it and sulking...

First run back since epic GUCR fail. I know, I know, 'fail' isn't a positive word to use, but it's what happened. I'm still over-analysing it of course. Any one who were to read this blog, who isn't a runner would have no idea why it even matters so much to me, but it does.

(Side-rant): I'm not a wealthy runner, I'm a nearly (but alas, still training) qualified primary school teacher, so money is tight and entering races is somewhat of a luxury these days. Ultras are expensive too, especially when you take into account the petrol to drive, possible accommodation costs, kit, food etc. I literally can't afford to fail... But, money isn't everything and I logically know this.

I'm going off-point and ultimately the money angle only matters in relation to how often I can race. And I would love to do it more than I do. I'm just venting. About everything. I put all of my eggs in one ultra-basket. Almost. I've got to remember I have a chance of redemption at Liverpool to Leeds Canal Race in August and I'm more than up for taking the opportunity to do so....although, I wasn't so positive about this when I called it quits on Saturday!

What matters more is that I'm still feeling a bit emotionally bruised. I wasn't able to see beyond the moment like I normally am. I wasn't able to transcend the pain or pull myself together. I wasn't able to use all the advice that I'm normally so eager to give out. I rely on that mental stamina normally. It's my rock that can often pull me through. It all feels a bit crappy and embarrassing. And I don't like not finishing things. I like to set out to do something and do it.

However, I know it's not all doom and gloom. Having trawled the internet for motivation and post-race affirmations, I have come across many words of wisdom...

  

 

You try, you fail, you try, you fail - the real failure 

is when you stop trying.

If you don't fail, you don't learn. 

If you don't learn, you'll never change.

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Okay, you got me...I LOVE Pinterest!! And, I have no race photos ;-)

Daring to fail - tale of a GUCR dnf

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts" - Winston Churchill


DNF and GUCR are words that I have been lucky enough to never have to use in the same sentence. Until now. And that's exactly what I did. I DNF'd. And it feels rubbish. For so long, I was so proud to say that I had finished GUCR 4 times in a row and never dropped out. Not bad for someone who doesn't look like a 'real runner'. I never really contemplate not finishing. I always think of that as one of my strengths, to keep going, no matter what. So, it was strange and actually heartbreaking to dial that Race HQ number and confirm that I wouldn't be carrying on.

From Mile 36 to Mile 53 is a tricky section. Despite having done this race from 2012- 2015, I had forgotten how tough I find this section. It's very rural, a lot of it looks the same and the ground is quite uneven. The ground is fairly hard to consistently run on during this bit. The scenery is pretty though... During this never-ending section, I felt both mentally and physically rough and I couldn't see the let-up. I became one of those 'negative Nancies' (a miserable, negative runner who you don't want to meet on an ultra) - one of those people who is so relentlessly miserable that you run faster just to avoid them.

As I finally neared the 'unreachable checkpoint', I burst into tears and had a word with myself. I just felt limp and my mental strength had wilted in the warmth of the day. I felt sure I must be right at the back, and I wasn't far off. But, as I got nearer and nearer to the CP, some other runners emerged from behind me. By that point, I had this strange feeling that I wasn't part of the race that I loved any more. I didn't feel a part of it. I had given up. 

I know we do these races and prepare ourselves for pain, both emotional and physical, but I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel. I normally think things like, 'pain is part of it, deal with it', 'pain comes and goes, get on with it' and 'expect pain', blah blah blah. I was so close to the cut-offs and if I'd have carried on and made it to the 70 mile CP after the cutoffs, then I would have been stranded in the middle of the night. I know that's my fault, because I was unsupported, but it's just something I've never fully had to contend with before. I've always had stubbornness on my side, but it had all but gone this time.

Ultimately, the best I might have hoped for on zero energy was to spend another 30+ hours down a canal. Imagining another 30+  down the canal wasn't hard to imagine, as it's something I had to contend with last year, when my feet well and truly ended up battered. However, at least last year I was further ahead of cutoff's at this point in the race. Psychologically, this really messed me up this time round. 

Depressingly, my feet were great this year. I taped my big toe, arch and the ball of my foot with Rocktape the night before and it worked amazingly. I experienced no rubbing and no blisters. It was 
my body that wouldn't play ball this year.

I can't really explain. Ever since Saturday I have tried to dig deep and really think about whether there was any way I could have carried on. I hate giving up and I hate making excuses. Yet, as much as I try to explain, I can't. My body simply had no energy. I felt like a rag doll. All of my energy had been zapped from me. I wanted more than anything to move forwards and yet, I felt like I was on a treadmill. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't run for long periods of time and the miles dragged on. I felt clumsy and a bit disorientated. On more than one occasion, I dropped something on the floor. I nearly dropped my map in the canal, but it landed right by the edge. However, I wasn't so lucky with my MP3 player - I looked down after CP2 to discover that it was no longer attached to my earphones and that I'd lost it. It was a bit demotivating and frustrating. Actually, it was more than a bit frustrating - music is such a useful tool to have when you're on your own down a canal, with lots of thoughts bouncing around your head.

It was a humid day on Saturday and I definitely think this contributed to the energy-zap I felt. However, I don't want to make excuses. It just wasn't my day. If I were to put it down to fate, I may point out that my boyfriend's car broke down the night before and we nearly never made it to the start. He went through all the trouble of renting an emergency car, last minute, to help me get there! I could also point out how I couldn't find my running rucksack or OMM up until the day before the race, despite looking for over a week [I can't afford to replace everything, so I kept looking and eventually found them]. And on the morning of GUCR, there was a shortage of technical t-shirts in Size Medium, and so I wasn't able to get the shirt I had ordered - a good thing, it now appears.

I can't deny it, a big part of me did have a little bit of anxiety over possibly failing at this race. It means so much to me and as much as I know I have nothing to prove in some ways, I can't shake the feeling of still wanting to prove something to myself. That's part of why we do these races and put ourselves through the challenge, right? Aren't we all trying to prove something to ourselves; to prove that we can be better, go further, realise our dreams? But maybe, just maybe I needed to fail in order to face up to that fear of failure and realise it is possible for me to come back stronger next time. 

I run because...

I didn't start running because it was an extension of who I already was. Yep, I used to be better at running at school, because I have an ingrained fear of balls being thrown at my head, but I was fat when I started running. I was unmotivated. I was down in the dumps. I had low self-esteem. I was overweight and it was hard. It wasn't the most fun. I 'couldn't run for a bus', as they all say. I couldn't see ahead and picture myself running races, let alone marathons and ultras.

It hurt me when I first started running marathons (emotionally) and for a few years later, when marathon blokes would make comments about my weight. I'd come a long, long way, but I still wasn't what you'd call 'athlete thin'. I didn't necessarily look like a runner. I wasn't skinny, And yet, I was running long distances. It didn't make sense to some. So, I got little comments, mainly from male runners. They didn't mean to hurt or offend. I know that. But it did hurt and offend. I'm not an 'offended person', by the way. But I've come a long way and that's what some people don't see. I lost a lot of weight before I ever started running and before they ever knew me. I will always have a saggy stomach, unless I get surgery. I will always have flappy underarms. I always will have some loose skin. I'll never be one of those super-toned types. You all look amazing though, you super-toned types :)

My record got broken this week, which I'm all good about. Records are made to be broken and I truly believe that. Otherwise, what is the point in them? I was only ever in the right pace at the right time, at the right age. I didn't know all too much about marathon running or the running circuit before I became involved in it. I just saw all those '10 marathons in 10 days' runners and got inspired by some amazing 100 Marathon Club members and vowed to be like them. I did.  I just ran a lot of races. But, what will never be broken is the fact that I have run lots of ultras and marathons and challenged myself. That will always exist and I'm really proud of it. I want to challenge myself more. I know so many amazing runners who I aspire to be like. You know who you are. I have met many of you who have done some fantastic things.

I went to an 'interview technique' session the other week and I realised how bad I am at selling myself. I could have been in Runners World etc. haha, but I never have been. I love running for the sake of running, for the way it makes me feel, for the sense of self it gives me. Most of all, I like the feeling you get from knowing you have travelled so far on your own two feet. How awesome is that? You should probably have used a car, but you got there with your own two feet. I also like running at night, in ultras, when the world is asleep and you're still moving forwards.

Just some thoughts I decided to write down on this Good Friday. Have a lovely, long weekend everyone.

It's out there, finally... Liverpool to Leeds Race 2015 ramble

Someone once told me (not so long ago) that I have a ‘slight’ tendency to hold on to things, to not let things or work go unless I think it is as absolutely good as it could possibly be. Obviously, nothing is perfect. In the case of this blog, I guess that is pretty true, albeit it has also been crazy hectic this year. But, now I’ve realised that sometimes you just have to get it out there.

It has been a massively hectic year, hugely hectic. I know, I said that already. I’ve not run as many races as I would have liked or was once used to, but I’ve run some good’uns that are important to me. The Liverpool to Leeds Race was one of them. So, finally, before the year is out, here is a ramble about that....

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I hadn’t planned on running the Liverpool to Leeds Canal Race again this year. I figured I’d do a bunch of marathons and do GUCR and that would be my ‘big’ race. However, Grand Union didn’t go so well for me. I finished, but I finished painfully slow and my feet were a mess. I felt physically and emotionally bruised. I no longer wanted this to be my long run memory of the year. Because, quite frankly, I felt like a bit of a whimpering mess after GUCR and my PB attempt at this race actually became my slowest finish ever. I guess you can never completely plan for stuff in ultras. 

The start and supplies and stuff

So, I made it to the start in one piece and as disorganised as usual. I packed all the necessary stuff, such as plasters and emergency energy gels, Lucozade and ‘full fat’ Coke. I didn’t pack as much food as usual, as I feel that I have a tendency to overbuy for these races.

I had a natter to lots of the usual lovely faces at the start and picked up my t-shirt. I never normally buy a race t-shirt for these long ones. I guess part of me never wants to tempt fate. However, this means that I never end up owning a really cool race t-shirt with a huge map of a canal on the back and I actually really want to. Also, I reasoned that if, for any reason, I was unable to complete LLCR then it was all ok, because I successfully completed it last year.

So, t-shirt picked up. A kiss for the boyfriend. A big ‘class of 2015’ photograph and we were off!

I hadn’t trained for this.

Tummy troubles

Not to be graphic, but my stomach felt poo. I had to stop so many times on the Saturday, because my stomach just didn’t feel right. I felt so bloated and not particularly awesome. All I kept thinking about was where the next toilet or bush was.

I was very aware of how much I was slowing down and with this came a bit of a negative attitude. I knew that I would do it no matter what, because I would never go into such a long race thinking that I’d just ‘give it a go’. You can’t and shouldn’t do that. You should go into a race KNOWING that you ARE going to do it, no matter what it takes, giving it everything it takes. However, it doesn’t stop the negative thoughts that make it a little bit tougher, when you’re not feeling 100%.

I felt bad, because Jogging Jon had very kindly let me run with him. That was great because it’s nice to have the company on such a long run, but I felt guilty, because he had put in so much training for this race and I had put in little. His pace was amazing and I was being a bit of a snail. I’m so grateful to him for sticking with me for so long and for the lovely Mrs Sarah Jogging Jon who provided lots of awesome support and goodies along the route.

Into the night...

It must have been around 2.30am in the morning when my eyelids started to uncontrollably close and I must have spent approximately the next 3 hours, until day broke, agonisingly battling against the urge to fall asleep. It’s a horrible feeling when all you want to do is sleep, but you can’t stop and you definitely can’t go to sleep, so you end up stumbling along like you’re drunk. And it just doesn’t stop and no matter how much you wish for it, daylight just doesn’t come. It seems never ending as you focus on putting one foot in front of the other, very, very slowly.

The resurrection...

“The sky’s awake, so I’m awake, so we have to play...!” (Yes, this quote is from Frozen)

The sun started to rise and ‘just like that’ I started to wake up. It was pretty miraculous and I was surprised by how instantaneously I woke up. One minute I was dragging my heals (literally) and stumbling about all over the place and the next, I was running faster than I had in hours. I had let Jogging Jon slip away as day broke, as I know he was going at a faster pace than me and I was aware of how much I had held him back in the night section, but like a gentleman, he had stayed to accompany me out of fear that I might fall in the canal. I’m always struck by how beautiful this part of the canal is. You start to head towards Skipton and the canal meanders and winds.

Spoilt for shoes

Hokas. I bought some Hokas. I previously wrote about my search for Hokas and how tricky it was to decide upon which ones to get and where to start. I bought the Challenger ATR and I thought it had adequate room. This is still mostly true. They had enough room in the front of the toe, but they were a little too narrow at the toe, which meant that my niggly little toe got a bit snagged. It's funny, because my feet are surprisingly narrow for how long they are. So, it would appear that a UK 8.5 would probably have been best. I also started to over pronate a fair bit, especially on my right foot, after a while. They were great in terms of stones and cobbles and not being able to feel the ground, but after 40 miles I had to swap them for a trustier structured shoe.

I whipped out my Asics GT 2000s at the next checkpoint and I immediately felt so much more supported in my arch. I wore these through the night section and until I reached the 94.5 mile checkpoint. A few checkpoints later I changed these shoes to my well-worn-in Kayanos, because the morning dew on the grass had soaked my feet and clean socks. It’s good to have the variety I guess.

Random things you see by canals

I’m always looking out for random things by canals and during ultras in general. You do see some random things. Most notably, I saw some horses on a bridge. And I became a little obsessive with taking pictures of mile markers by the canal. I was so much happier when a stone mile marker informed me that it was 110 miles to Liverpool – not far to go – than when it said 99 ½ miles to Leeds...

Fooooood

I can never fault the check points on GUCR or LLCR. There was so much yummy cake. Lemon drizzle was my favorite and it’s so easy to eat when you’re finding it hard to get down anything else. I also enjoyed a really lovely bacon buttie just before the 100 mile mark and some pineapple juice at around 120 miles. I was feeling much better by then.

The End

Now I’m trying to recall it, I’m finding it tricky to recall everything. The last bit of the race was fairly pleasant, but painful. I do really need to solve the unsolvable problem of painful feet, but I’m not certain that this can be overcome during such a long ultra. This is a shame, because I'd like to think I could run even longer one day... Maybe it’s just part of the challenge? So, in the last bit, I found myself having to stop and take off my shoes a fair few times, as my feet were hot, sore and itchy. However, once I sensed that we were near the end and started to see all the tall buildings and hotels of Leeds city centre getting close and closer, I started to run faster and faster. I guess the bit that I’m most proud of is that I literally sprinted the last bit. I saw the finish and I legged it. I know it wasn’t just my imagination, I really did sprint it and most definitely ran faster than I had done all race.

I finished 3^rd female in 35hrs 43mins – most definitely because there weren’t many women in it to begin with and also because the rest of the speedy ones dropped out. But, I’m happy with that. A really great memory from 2015. I better start looking ahead to 2016. Who knows what adventures will be had? (I actually don't know yet...I need to plan)

Knackered. Shattered. Tired.

As one of the children in my class remarked, earlier today, "You look really tired today, Miss Tunna". Yup. I feel shattered, knackered, sleep, tired, all rolled into one. Training to be a primary school teacher is like the longest ultra marathon ever, and the most emotionally draining. And yet, it is so rewarding. But I am definitely looking forward to a bit of a Christmas shindig night out on Friday. I need it.

Needless to say, I have been pretty busy lately and I haven't done too much running. And I really need to do more running because even when I'm not getting physically fat, I feel mentally fat and not quite sane if I am not doing a lot of running. However, I have just gone for a short one and I do feel better for it. Should have worn more layers though. It's surprisingly chilly out there. Brrrr.

Another year older.

So, It's my birthdaaaaay... I always have a bit of a tendency to feel quite sad around my birthday, as I never feel like I've achieved exactly what I wanted to in the last 12 months. However, I feel like I've achieved more than last year. I am training to be a primary school teacher, finally and I guess that I have always wanted to do this, but never had enough experience to get onto a course before/ it wasn't the right time. I also completed GUCR for the 4th time this year and LLCR for the 2nd time. Not done as many races as I'd have liked, but I've kept in the loop and not done too badly. And I've got Snowdonia Marathon tomorrow and then off to Dublin. There are positives here.

New Shoes, coconut oil, coffee and pre-birthday splurge

Well, it's my birthday on Friday, 23rd October, so I decided to buy myself an early birthday present and got some new Kayano 22s. I used to work at an Asics outlet, so I really got to like the Kayano and the GT-2000, which is slightly less supportive and cushioned. And as well as being the right shoe for my strange feet, I really like the way they look :)

Whilst I was having a bit of a pre-birthday splurge I also picked up some coconut oil to aid in my mission to incorporate more healthy fats into my diet and medium chain triglycerides etc. I'm also trying to eat more protein and less crappy carbs. However, I feel like my eating habits have been a bit rubbish as of late. I've been doing some intensive trainee primary school teacher training, lesson planning, teaching and not a lot of sleeping, so I've been craving rubbish and haven't been entirely disciplined. But the consequence of this is that I've been feeling a bit yuck. If I write it here, I have to do it...

Too busy and sleepy

So much information and observations backlogged in my mind right now, and that’s before I even get to the pedagogical theory and primary school paperwork for my School Direct PGCE – fair to say I have been more than a little bit preoccupied. The other week, I was roughly averaging 3 ½ hours of sleep a night. As I type, I remain pretty preoccupied in the university library, but I cannot currently think of anything useful to write here with regards to my practises in the classroom, so I thought I would procrastinate and empty my mind of recent running exploits.

Chester Marathon – Sunday, 4th October

I can hardly believe that it’s been 4 years since I did my 100^th marathon. This year’s race was my 160^th…not an awful lot run in the last 4 years, when you consider that I did my 100^th within two years. However, I have completed lots of long ones since then, so I have to remember that.

I do Chester because it is my home race. It’s local and it’s friendly. However, I also find it extremely overpriced. Yet, I’m not just moaning at Chester here, I’m moaning at pretty much all city marathons out there. They are so expensive for what they are and the medal is always overshadowed by corporate sponsors. I need to put a picture on here, but the original medal for Chester Marathon was all about Chester’s famous clock. The newer medals are much more stylistic and feature a massive sponsor slogan. I guess that is the way it is. So, this would be my first grievance.

 

Other grievances: I guess that I also really hate the endless country roads. It almost feels that the marathon runners are banished from the city, out towards Wrexham and then they’re finally allowed back into Chester at the end. Consequently, the middle bit is really boring for me. I tend to get a bit lazy around the 14-20 mile mark of boring country-road running. And because it’s a city marathon, you get the endless barrage of runners asking if you’re okay and telling you, ‘you can do this/ well done/ not long now/’ etc. They all mean well, but I’m there in my 100 Club vest, thinking that I have run a lot and I have run far tougher….not meaning to sound arsy, but I just always hear the same stuff. I was thinking about it and there is always that same small talk at city marathons. I don’t hate them, I really don’t, but, sometimes I just don’t know what to say. I think I was just especially sleepy at this marathon, because of my course. I want to do my best, but I'm finding it tricky to be my best at the moment.

 

And even though I am sounding like a very Negative Nancy here, I couldn’t help but spot the Negative Nancys during the race. By this I mean, those runners who just give up and don’t carry on or moan a lot (not just to themselves) during the race. I came upon a couple of guys who were still going and they were telling me how they had expected to finish in 3hrs 15 mins, but how they had injured themselves and were going to drop out at the aid station just up ahead. We were approximately 18 miles in. I couldn’t contemplate dropping out, even if I had to crawl, I’d do it. And I have felt like I have had to crawl in the past, in much longer races than a marathon. I guess my key point is that I often feel safer and more comfortable amongst ultra runners or at least marathon maniacs who somehow seem that little bit grittier and determined. I like the madness and the irrationality that even if you have a niggle, the possibility of carrying on is still there for the taking, because the impossible is a lot more possible when you dream bigger.  [Got a bit philosophical there, but you get my gist...]

PGCE and Kidney followed by sniffly

Just in case you'd like to know:

The Liverpool to Leeds race bloggage is underway, but it got rather backlogged due to a hugely busy spell.

So, I ran to Leeds and I made it and then I quickly attempted to recover and then I started a primary school based PGCE, to become a primary school teacher. Busy busy busy. Lots of paperwork and folders and an assignment and thinking and pedagogical ramblings. And then I started to feel horrible and shaky and sweaty and shivery and feel rubbish and my kidneys felt like I had been punched or kicked continuously. So, I went to the doctors (I know, I can't believe I got an appointment either!) and did a urine sample and had a high temperature and the doc thinks it was a kidney infection. Sooo, I have just finished taking antibiotics which also made me feel pretty rubbish in my stomach and now I'm one day post-antibiotics and I have a very sniffly cold. Rarrrgggh. Consequently, I will get a running blog out there soon, but I haven't even run since I ran to Leeds, so that's a pain. Therefore (I'm trying not to write 'so', I write it faaaaar too much) I have entered Chester Marathon at the end of next week. That should do it.

I got some Hokas!

I finally (years and years after everyone else...) got some Hokas. I researched and searched and Googled and Googled some more. Ended up with a headache from all the research. I had a few concerns. As someone who overpronates, I wondered if this even mattered in Hokas, as the platform is so significantly big/ stable in comparison to other running shoes on the market. For road running, I had previously been running in Asics' Kayano and GT-2000 series. I was used to supportive shoes, but I needed even greater comfort for ultra-running.

In May, I utterly destroyed my feet during the Grand Union Canal 145 miles race. I wore inov-8 Race Ultra 290s and I was really disappointed :(. Initially, I thought they were great quality and looked good; I went up half a size from my normal everyday shoe size. I'm normally a Size 8 everywhere. And I've worn inov-8s many, many times over the years. They are the only brand of off-road shoes I had ever worn, so I trusted them. Most recently, I have run in the inov-8 Roclite 275 Gore-Tex trail shoe and I had no problems with that at all. I even ran GUCR 2014 in that shoe and I've worn other versions of inov-8 shoes for various ultras over the years.

Anyway, I have long feet, but I don't have wide feet - they're pretty narrow and not very padded. The Race Ultra 290 was too wide around my forefoot. It was like a big clown shoe/ balloon around my foot. I know, the irony, considering that most Hokas look like clown shoes... Yep, I always want some room in the front of the toe-box, but there was too much room to either side in the inov-8s. Ultimately, I ended up with mega tenderised feet and HUGE blisters on the side of my heel and both big toes and between my big toe and second toe of both feet. There are lots of pictures on this blog somewhere. My feet have never been that bad during a race. It was incredibly painful. And I thought more than ever that I must try Hokas. Those little sharp stones along canal towpaths are the worst. I just don’t want to feel them

The Search for Hoka...

Well, it was all well and good deciding that I wanted to try these shoes and see what the hype was like, but getting hold of my size and figuring out which ones to get was a different matter. Almost every UK website I went on only had small ladies sizes.

After advice from fellow ultra-runners, it eventually transpired that a Conquest 2 would probably be best for me and my moderate over pronation but it was also the most expensive at around 170 Euros or £125.  I was also more interested in getting a trail shoe, rather than a road shoe, because I wanted the sole to be a bit more rugged and durable. I decided to get a Challenger ATR.

Now I just need to work out my foot measurements. I initially thought I'd need at least a UK 8.5 / 42 2/3 / 27cm. Looking at my current Asics road running shoes, I normally go up a whole size to a UK 9, because I like the extra length in the toe box. This equates to 27.5 cm. I'll admit that there is a bit more extra room than I strictly need, but it never causes me problems. I'd always get at least a UK 8.5 in Asics (27cm). But I'd never gotten Hokas before and I wasn’t sure what the deal was with how they fitted. So, I followed their instructions and put my foot on a piece of A4 paper, foot up against a wall and drew where the end of my foot was = 26cm. This equalled a UK 7.5, but I didn't feel comfortable getting that Size. I want a little room in the toe. So, I settled on a UK 8 (26.5cm) And....they fit! I have room, but the shoe is actually quite a narrow fit and not really wide like my inov-8s, but I have that length.

So, at the weekend, I took them out for an 11 mile test run on gravel trails and a bit of road. I could not feel any of those pesky sharp stones. Hurrah. I just hope that they serve me well during my next ultra-adventure at the weekend, Liverpool to Leeds 130 miler. Fingers crossed!

Another run home, another foot dunk...

Post-run foot dunking is so refreshing. This could become a thing. Tonight it was dark when I finally got home. I also managed to get in a bit of food-weight-training by stopping off at the shop on the way back home and picking up some Babybel cheeses, avocados, yogurt and milk. I always end up picking up way too much on a quick trip to the shop.

Really looking forward to the Dovedale Dipper 26 miler on Sunday - done it a few times before and even though the cows in the first field always scare me, it's a really friendly little run. I'm hoping me and my boyfriend can spend a couple of days in the Peak District afterwards and have a little explore.

And I am now seriously contemplating doing the Leeds to Liverpool 130 mile race again on August Bank Holiday weekend. I've got to sort out a few 'logisticals', but I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to. I'm always up for a long ultra-running challenge...

A bit random, but...

... I had a really sweaty day at work yesterday. It was busy busy and the air-con was off. To use up the little bit of energy I had left, I decided to run home from work. I was feeling pretty knackered and my feet were feeling pretty sweaty. Fortunately it had been raining all day and I happened across a large, yellow container under our guttering. It was full to the brim with rain water.

It was far too tempting not to take off my trainers and stick my feet in the cold, refreshing water. Best feeling ever. Ahhhhhh.

The last few days...

The last few days I have...

* Been tormented by the biggest house spider ever. I thought I was safe now, because we (not really we, as I definitely did not partake) had managed to kill 'Biggest House Spider No.1' about a week ago, but now there is another one, living in the same nook and it's out for revenge. It only seems to come out in the evening and during moments where I have momentarily let my guard down. An example of this would be whilst on the loo or in the shower...

* Run home from work a few times and been high-fived by a fellow runner. Yesterday's run was much more energetic than today's. My legs felt so stiff and achy after work. I really felt like I was plodding along very slowly. So, when an unidentified runner from my old club ran past in the opposite direction and enthusiastically high-fived me, it put a big grin on my face and made me dig that bit deeper. And camaraderie is the name of that run.

* Eaten lots of scrummy food. So, we decided to try the food at a pub that we always drive past but have never eaten at. I had a fairly unhealthy Caesar salad, with pan-fried salmon and mega amounts of Parmesan cheese - my favourite. It was delicious. We also ordered some chips that had been drizzled with truffle oil and sprinkled (not really the right word given the size of the parmesan shavings) with parmesan. Shaved parmesan would probably be more accurate. I felt like this balanced out the abundance of lettuce very nicely!

* Thought about entering lots of marathons. I get paid tomorrow, so this may well be realised. I want to up my game and do a few ones that I haven’t done before. I love a good goal and it will sure make me get out there and get in the miles.

* Nearly puked up after sniffing a protein shake. My Protein Oats and Whey is definitely the tastier shake. However, Maxi Nutrition Lean Definition offers more in terms of added nutrients and the amount of protein you get vs. calories. Having said that, it tastes disgusting mixed with water and smells terrible. That's why, upon sniffing the latter protein shake, post-run, I gagged. Downed it, but didn't enjoy it.